Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize