She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
