i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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