dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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