is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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