Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
