So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
