honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize