FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
