youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
