I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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