I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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