She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
