I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my sisters under your porch take her home
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize