Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
