i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize