Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
