remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Randomize
