He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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