All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This is my gift to your gina
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
