How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
