I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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