i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
