Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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