I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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