Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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