well I can't set my house on fire every night
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i drank out of a bidet.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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