It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
