I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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