have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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