Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
