Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
