I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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