I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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