I accidentally had phone sex last night
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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