I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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