she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
