so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
