i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
