he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
