therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
