Nicole vs. Life
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize