I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
