my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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