Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
