Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
