do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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