You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
