If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
