Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Farmville is her only friend.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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