That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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