Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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