Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
