I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
