I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
