White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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