she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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