i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
