that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
