they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
