i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
