She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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