everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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