I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
