TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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