i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
