Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want nice things and good sex
The uberlube is also flammable
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize