something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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