Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
