Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
